Lessons in Forgetting

The blog was actually written on April 26th, 2013, after watching the movie. 

I have watched this movie last evening – Lessons in Forgetting. It was disturbing. 

Just a few thoughts, totally uncorrelated, are coming to my mind again and again. Wanted to note them down. 

image source - http://static.indianexpress.com/

Since childhood, we keep seeing newspaper daily. Newspaper is never a pleasing thing other than the Sunday magazine, book reviews, cricket news, cooking and beauty tips and a few more things like that. Newspaper always tells us that something bad has happened again that day. Knowing it since-ever, one starts to assume that bad things are part of life. I mean - it happens, but we never know the intensity of it until it happens to us. 

I mean it – I had a bus accident in Jan 2000, while I was going for my convocation for Masters degree to DEI, Agra. I was supposed to get Directors medal. It was a foggy morning and it was a head bang between the bus (I was in) and a truck. Before that day accident was always a news, but the experience made me feel the fear of it. 

Same is for other things typically reported in newspapers. Mostly we are aware of it, and that helps us taking our own precautions as well – self protection or improvement. But, we typically don't relate to it – to the pain of the other victim. We know a thing, extract our lesson out of it, and move on. The moment, we relate to it, it disturbs. 

Same happened to me last evening. Seeing the visuals was really making me relate to all those pains that I have never looked at with intensity. I guess this is the difference in being sorry for something and being serious for the same.

I also thought, is it so natural animal instinct in us. Starting from God Brahma, to all the wars between kings where wealth and women were acquired to today – it is so constant. 

Am I supporting it? No!! By nature I am a fearful women, I don't take stupid risks of getting home late alone and so on. But, I am analyzing my fear. I feel if I took precautions and was fearful, probably it was right – it helped me be safe. Am I trying to feel right, may be "yes". But I am also trying to understand human. 

So, at one end there are these examples starting from Brahma, on the other hand there are examples of Shivaji and Laxman, who looked at other women as mother. 

So I would understand Men are of two kind – one who respects women and one who doesn't. Everyman who doesn't respect women, doesn't end up raping them as he is more self protective about not falling into the trouble. 

If one overhear a (decent) guys gang conversation - of the so called educated professionals, it would not sound very different from the rowdy gang shown in movie – just that they look different and their language is more polished. 

So this kind of guy, doesn't rape, but he ends up influencing women – the way they show Rishi Soman's character in the movie. So to get the thing, he doesn't use his body power, but uses brains – The power of education. Than it is claimed that it was mutual.

Am I saying that man is wrong and women is Sati-Savitri? No! I guess not, if that were the case then why those weak moments? So, this feeling is there in women as well, to get pleasure, feel good. Probably, in lower educational and financial class people are struggling with more basic needs of life like food and water and even life. So Things get suppressed for women and rough for men. In upper or urban class women feel more free - Things become more polished. 

As long as you don't harm anyone, and don't force anyone and be safe - things are OK – that’s how it is shown in movies also now a days – like, Cocktail. 

So are we talking about the idea of living free, the way animals do? Do whatever, with whoever you feel like – have fun and do great work! Are we saying that we are going for a new civilization? Where we live free, and evolved only technically and materials-wise? What would happen to family system than? Would it die?

Or is it, that though we are all human, but still we are different species? Some habitat live in the defined society, family, and some live free. It would be OK, as long as there is a separation between the two habitat. But it is not, and we don't know if the person we are dealing with is who – and its not just educational and financial background – its the mentality? 

It makes me feel less concluded, I come back to my initial thoughts that I have been living with – fear is good sometimes. 

I wouldn't deny the lesson of the father in the movie – "Never run away from the things that terrify you" - I would just add that do the SWOT analysis of self and that fight them back with proper strategy. 

I would conclude if you can't remove all wrongs from the world, at least protect yourself from them and do right by yourself – each small drop contribute to the ocean Or as they say about the oxygen mask in the airplane. 

Feel relieved with my lessons now :)